Archive: Jun 2013

1. Baxter’s Pep Squad: Deep Connections

   June 23, 2013 9:46 pm Leave a Comment

   Yesterday evening we celebrated the end of Baxter’s heartworm treatment and three months of restricted activity by throwing a party for him and everyone involved in his rescue. I finally got to meet the person who took him off the street and got him medical help for his injuries. A few minutes into the gathering it became clear that there is so much more connecting us to each other, than caring for a dog. She mentioned that a long, long time ago she used to work for GSK, with biostatisticians. Shocked at what that might mean, I turned to her immediately. “Did you know Paige? Paige Plagge? I asked, but before I could finish, she almost burst into tears.
   “Of course I knew her, I tried to get her help. I knew there was something medically wrong with her.”
   “Mary found her. Paige never missed a day of work…” It was such a long time ago…Twenty years…?

   At that point I was holding my face in my palms, trying to keep the tears back. “Her bench is my healing place, I go there almost every day…”
   I left the room and returned with a copy of my book. I told her that I would like her to have my book. I then opened it to the chapter “The Bench.” There is one more chapter, more amazing things about the bench, I told her. She took one look.
   “I can’t read it now, I would just start crying…”

2. A Promise To Joshua Bell

   June 8, 2013 3:38 pm Leave a Comment

   In the evening of Nov 2, Kati and I were standing at the entrance of Memorial Hall in Chapel Hill, waiting for the doors to open. Kati, at age 12, was one of the youngest among the hundreds of people.

   She was looking around with amazement. “I had no idea Joshua Bell has so many fans!”

   A gentleman standing in front of us turned around.

   “Are you a fan of Joshua Bell? he asked her.

   “Yes!” Kati answered.

   ” Would you like a T-shirt and an autographed picture of him?”

   “Yes, of course! she exclaimed.

   The man, one of the violinist’s promoters opened a bag and started handing out his gifts to Kati. We couldn’t believe our luck, getting these items for free, then seeing them lined up for sale on the table by the wall.

   After the concert Joshua Bell appeared in the foyer to sign his CDs.  Kati desperately wanted to meet him and begged me to buy a CD, but I did not have any cash with me.

   “Let’s just get in line toward the end, and maybe he will still shake your hand,” I proposed.

   Just before we got to his table, Kati opened her purse and pulled out her harmonica. When it was our tun, he shook our hands with a warm, radiant smile.

   Kati placed the the plastic case with the harmonica in it in front of the musician.

   “What’s this?” he looked up with an incredulous look on his face.

   “It’s a harmonica!” she declared.

   “I think she would like you to sign the case,” I added.

   After a moment of hesitation he signed it. When he was done, he slid the harmonica toward us. Kati took a step back, straightened her body, lifted her chin up and looked down with pride. “It is a great honor to have met you!” she said to him. Surprised by the force of her presence, Joshua Bell lifted his gaze to meet hers, and I suddenly saw a new light in his eyes. “What’s your name? he asked the child standing in front of her idol with absolutely no fear and reservation. He was now looking at Kati with a deep understanding. He recognized it! He saw her shining soul that is ever ready to share all that she is, with everyone she meets, including Joshua Bell. He saw himself in Kati’s eyes and Kati saw herself in his.

   “Next Fall I will start taking violin lessons in school!” Kati declared.

   “It will be a lot better than this,” he smiled, and handed the harmonica back to Kati.

3. Cover Story: Part 2

   June 6, 2013 9:00 pm Leave a Comment

   Two posts ago I wrote about how my immediate family ended up on the covers of my new book. The vision came 3 years ago, then two more years of writing and finally this winter I was ready to send it all out into the Universe. There were only two problems.

   “It doesn’t look like a real book, Mom! declared Kati. “You need a picture to cover the whole front, not just in the middle, between the title and subtitle. It looks like you just used a template. I don’t like it.”

   “But I took a landscape shot instead of a portrait. And Elena, who supposed to symbolize me at age 3, is now 7. I cannot just grab her and Daddy, drive to Chapel Hill, then tilt the camera and take another picture!”

   “It is just not good enough!” she answered.

   The second problem was, that I knew Kati was right. But how can I fix it?

   A few weeks later I was sitting in my car, waiting for Kati to finish her dance class, when I started thinking about the cover again. “I cannot retake the picture!” I kept repeating in my head. Then suddenly I heard “But you can take another one. Go back to the same spot, tilt the camera and take a winter picture, for the missing background.”

   Next day I drove back to the wooden bridge, waited until some clouds drifted in, then snapped the picture. It finally all fell into place. Present became the window into Past.

   Sometimes your spirit guide is a ragged stuffed animal, and sometimes it is a critical preteen, who snaps at you: “It is just not good enough!”

    

4. Expectations

   June 4, 2013 8:15 pm Leave a Comment

   The Wood Thrush behind the house is just starting up her evening repertoire before she nests for the night. Cool breeze is drifting in through the windows, I cannot believe it is June! I went for a lunchtime walk today wearing a sweater. It has been a crazy Spring, with temperatures barely making out of the seventies. I swear there is a giant umbrella over North Carolina that keeps the scorching rays away.

   May also brought exhaustion. I had a hard time getting through each day, then spent 10-12 hours in bed, refreshing sleep still eluding me. Something was up; but it was not me.

   I have been reading spiritual blogs heralding the expansion of consciousness into 4D and 5D living. Changes, unseen, untouchable, are happening right now and everywhere. What does that mean? Waking in molasses most of the days, to me it seemed that even 3D living was slipping out of my reach. Then on the first day of June something broke open. Yet another perceived betrayal finally pushed me over the edge. It was painful, but I came out of the other end with a new freedom.  This is one of my biggest lessons so far: learning to be free from laying expectations on others. And letting people live free from my expectations. A huge shift.

   The significance of this resonates deeply with me, this great lesson that I needed to assimilate. I can now see clearly how people lined up around me to consistently “fail” my expectations. All according to plans!

   I love math, so here is an easy formula to summarize:

   Happiness = satisfaction ÷ desire

   No desire does not mean not having preferences. It means to be at peace with all outcomes. No desire also means dividing by zero, resulting in infinite happiness. Which, I venture to guess, is not possible in a human form.

5. Cover Story: Part 1

   7:37 pm Leave a Comment

   Ever since I started recording my spiritual experiences in May, 2010, it was clear to me that some day they will end up in a book. About two months into writing I was lying in bed, trying to go to sleep when the title and the subtitle popped into my consciousness. A few nights later I had a vision for the front and back covers. I realized that my younger daughter, Elena was about the same age as I was, when my father passed away. I saw Elena and my husband walking away, hand in hand, my husband leading my daughter on a path. I then saw another picture with my older daughter Kati and Chad walking further down the same path.

   Next Sunday the four of us headed to one of the parks in Chapel Hill for the photo shoot. The path from the parking lot took us across a bridge, then into the woods. I asked Elena and Chad to walk in front of me so I could take some pictures. Next I took pictures of Kati and Chad walking away. I flipped through the dozen pictures, but none of them felt the right ones. A man and a child waking in the woods, hand in hand. Not enough to catch attention. I looked back toward the parking lot and noticed the wooden bridge again, the one we had crossed. That’s it! “Everyone, back to the bridge!”

   I was taking pictures of Elena and Chad, when Kati started to whine by my side. “Mooom! Lacy wants to be in the picture!” Lacy was Kati’s bunny, who was more than a just a stuffed animal. Lacy went everywhere where Kati went. Lacy, the once pink, now mostly gray bunny, was Kati’s spirit guide.

   “Oh, Kati! Lacy does not need to be in every…” Wait a minute! Of course! Lacy needs to be in the pictures! In both of them. Elena will hold Lacy as “I” and my “Dad” start crossing over the bridge. And Lacy will be held again, by Kati, to symbolize an older me, still walking with my Dad.